Faith Over Fear

This morning I checked my email and burst into tears when I saw a mention from my kid’s school about a safety drill they are having.

I burst into tears. Sobbing. And I still have tears streaming down my face. It’s not an earthquake drill, it’s not a fire drill, it’s some-people-take-guns-to-school-and-start-shooting drill.

My kids and I have talked at elementary school levels about tragic school shootings going on around the country and my heart aches every time it happens. We even had an incident in our own community last year and it really hit home. But this is breaking me today. The reality that I’m sending my kids off into a world I don’t understand, but I desperately want to have faith and not fear. That cowering under my kitchen table and never leaving the house is no way to live. 

This post is for the parents who everyday navigate these conversations. Whose hearts rip open like mine and who decide do I let them go or keep them home? It’s for the moments that you have to talk to your kids and prepare them for an unknown future in a way that THEY don’t live in fear. 

As I read this, I saw my daughter’s adorable and wonderful teacher in my mind. I see her walking to the door, locking it, turning off the light, and i see her in my mind getting under a table, too. It’s not fair to ask these teachers to hold this burden and yet they do. 

This post is also for the teachers. I know how hard it is to send my little people off to school with all the challenges they’ll face. Not just these big “hope they never happen” tragedies but wondering if they’ll be treated kindly and if they will be kind. Wondering if they learn and grow but will they help others learn and grow. I honor you for doing this low-paying, increasingly higher risk job every day. I honor you for loving my kids and the other kids in your class enough to march in there every day and teach and mold and model for them. They will remember you forever. I will remember you forever. 

And thank you. For shutting off the lights, locking the door, getting under the table and praying for these kids while they are in your care. I’m praying for YOU today.

Originally posted on Facebook February 21, 2018. It came up in my memories and I had a good cry and wanted to share it again here.